Gift Of The Gab

I have approximately 0.3 seconds to write this post before I’m shirking my duties at work. Which means now that we are this far I should no longer be writing. So expect spelling errors, grammatical mistakes and some dubious auto corrects.

Inspired by a chap on the news I have the most important thing to remember if you’d like to go into politics. I think he was a Zimbabwean politician, and I think he was called Welshman Unkube. He was being interviewed about Zimbabwean elections and whether Mugabe could be defeated.

After listening to him for five minutes I can tell you that he has had lessons on how to he a politician and that he probably got a C on all his assignments. Because while he followed the number one rule:

Never give a straight answer!

It was very obvious that was his goal. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone create a longer sentence than this guy and he was asked a yes or no question. It was actually pretty impressive.

Some people are born with this ability and some people have to learn it. I was not born with the gift of the gab, as a toddler I was an idiot. An incident occurred in the house and our mother would run down the line of kids asking for an explanation. R would say ‘not me’, A would say ‘I know but I’m not telling’, K would blame R without fail (or hesitation) and as O was too young that just left me…
I did it!

I’d loudly exclaim. Often times I hadn’t…

And yet today I am making up this blog post, which I’m sure you’ll agree is adequately written, while continuing to do my job. I’d like to thank literature for this gift.

Although I suppose literature itself has not taught me even a little bit about how to make up rubbish but have it sound coherent. The study of it though… that’s where you go if you want to learn to give the second longest answer possible to whether or not you are going to run for Zimbabwean president.

S. Hansen


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