Positively Beaten

Hansen Flies Across The Room was destined to be the first blog post on my therapy appointments. Granted that when I decided I would post about all my therapy sessions the post was not called Hansen Flies Across The Room. I had not imagined that the first therapy session would be so disappointing that I wouldn’t bother continuing with them.

After having had one appointment with little more advice than to think more positively and get out the house more, it’s up to me I guess to battle on without a therapist. And while I of course hoped I would get something more profound than the suggestion of positive thinking it’s pretty much all I’ve got…

I’m not a complete idiot so it has occurred to me before that thinking more positively may help. I have even attempted it before. It tends not to last very long though unfortunately, but I have tried it again today.

My phone is a real doodey head at times. My GPS unit (who I call Linda) regularly takes me the wrong way or gives very little notice of a change in direction. It’s very confused by album art in the music player. But I have dropped it many times so it’s probably just payback. Yesterday in fact I dropped it quite heavily on the road, fortunately for me I didn’t invest in a shitty piece of apple technology and my phone escaped with nothing more than another dent in the metal case. But today was time for payback. Today I awoke to a message from my phone.

And the message in my mind read pretty much like this.

Guess what you were doing this time three years ago.
Haha you were strolling around Cuba taking pictures. Now look out your window and be disappointed by the torrential downpour and grey skies of England!

So yeah. My phone is a jerk. That is not how you want to wake up. But I’ve been trying to flip it on it’s head. Be more positive right? Maybe it’s a nice reminder that I have been to Cuba. I could have been doing the exact same thing three years ago but instead I have checked that country off my list of places to go.

That’s progress on the positive thinking front right?

Though I am still trying to flip another bummer on it’s head.

Yesterday I bravely endeavoured to investigate the uses of swimming trunks. I determined they could be used as not just swimwear but would be passable shorts in unbearably muggy weather. I strolled out the house and I really think I was onto something. The fashion police did not stop me and demand I put some  more appropriate attire on.

However, it is possible the fashion police are more subtle than we gave them credit for. I think they cursed me instead. At work I accidentally punched a metal bar, got clonked in the head with a different metal bar, temporarily trapped a nerve in between a couple of my vertebrae (very painful) and I dropped about 50 billion things on the floor. As if that wasn’t enough more colleagues are trying to befriend me, I don’t mean to have a friendly face so I don’t know how this keeps happening. If this curse doesn’t lift I think I will die by metal bar contusions or over socialisation…

S. Hansen


2 thoughts on “Positively Beaten

  1. Shilheneth

    Those kind of therapists are really annoying that treat you like a complete moron (or are morons themselves?) and really don’t help at all. =/ Maybe we could give the Curse of the Swimming Trunks to those’. I hope you haven’t yet been crushed by beams or hugs. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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