To many of us geologists can seem like the most boring people on Earth. There are biologists who study living breathing things, psychologists who study the inner workings of the human mind, astrologists who make up stuff about people and stars, lexicologists who study those wonderful things we call words (there are a whole tone more ologist jobs but I got bored). And then there are geologists, who study rocks… found just about everywhere and not terribly hard to catch rocks (a little bit like rattatas and Zubats…).
But maybe we only think of rocks as boring because every time our chemistry teachers cracked out the rocks we switched off for the lesson and perfected our doodles of monkeys in the back of our books. I mean, both igneous and metamorphic rocks need freakin magma to form. And what’s more evil genius lair than magma? They need a tone of pressure too but pressure isn’t so cool. But I will admit that the formation of the sedimentary rock is all kinds of disappointing in comparison. Some dirt settled here and then some more did and some more…. and more…. some pressure kind of cemented it all together and now it’s a rock with layers…
The up side to sedimentary rocks is that they can be taught through the medium of cake. That and the fact they perfectly represent my weekend. As you’ll recall from Guilty Conscience I began my weekend with the disappointing knowledge I was going to have to move out of my flat for 3 weeks. Then An Update On My Suicidal Stranger informed you that Friday night brought another good layer of disappointment. So far so rocky.
Then because I guess I wasn’t feeling disappointed enough I quickly checked my books stats on Amazon. This usually brings about very little information whatsoever, the odd person reading a few pages maybe. So I was fairly confident I wasn’t about to log in and see my book had been flying off the digital shelves. But that did not prepare for the third layer of disappointment and self induced pressure that would form a very dismal rock. My second review is in… it’s not good. Some yank reckons my book “sucked turnip juice”. I’ve not had turnip juice, in fact I’ve never considered them to be particularly juicy root vegetables, but I imagine it’s not a wonderful juice flavour.
I have been slowly chipping away this sedimentary rock of disappointment with a miniature hammer and chisel. It’s slow progress but a massive chunk fell off when I saw my stranger alive and well. And in a rare moment of selfless support O pointed out that the American reviewer had not only given no back up evidence for their unkind assertions but had suggested my book was military science fiction.
To be honest we had to google what military sci fi was to be sure, but can confidently now proclaim it’s not military sci fi so no wonder he thought it sucked turnip juice if that’s what he wanted. Also I have my 70% share of the profits from his purchase. His review might damage my sales but I have his money…
If you’d like to have a read of my book and give me a review click here, I’ll try not to take offence.