I’m Going To Be Tired

Quite some time ago, way back in January I think, I caught up with an old work colleague. I abandoned the relative safety of my flat and met this person in the city with their new son, Arthur (which is a great name, I will fight anyone who says otherwise). And we tried to stay in touch and meet up again, we planned an excursion to the aquarium, assuming Arthur would love it. But life happened and the excursion didn’t. I was pretty chill about it because I’m pretty sure kids trump everything and just left it as a ‘let me know when you are free’ postponement.

That was at the end of February. March came and went without me hearing a thing. My logical brain told me this was because my potential friend was busy with the whole having a kid thing, working and doing wedding planning stuff. However, my anxiety kept telling me this was actually because I was an uninteresting weirdo that was being avoided…

Then out of the blue on Wednesday this week they messaged me and asked if I was free on Friday morning. Well I’d have to rearrange my sleeping pattern and take a nap in the afternoon before work but I was happy to do that. I woke up munched on some breakfast and headed over to my friends place.

This old colleague knows about my depression and has a little experience themselves. We talked, played with Arthur, walked to the park and the shops, talked some more, I met their other half and ended up staying for dinner. I spent a whole day at someone else’s house and there was no sign of my social anxiety. I had imagined I’d be out for a couple of hours tops but had such easy flowing conversation and enjoyable company that I didn’t realise it was dinner time when they offered me some.

I now won’t have time for a nap before work and will be absolutely exhausted come 6 o’clock tomorrow morning but I had a great day and it was worth it, I regret nothing. Perhaps socialisation isn’t so bad after all. Either way I definitely made a friend today because Arthur has good taste, he loves me.

S. Hansen


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