The Big Red Button Is Actually Yellow

Normally I write a post after an event has happened. Today I’m writing, in between wringing my hands together nervously, while I make the momentous button press that will Publish my entire book on Amazon Kindle.

I’ve had some good feedback as I’ve been putting chapter by chapter on this blog. But that apparently isn’t enough to stop my anxious mind from imagining not a single person will want to pay for my work. That I will have poured everything I have to give into this series of books and people won’t even want to read the first Β book.

I know a lot of people who write books and self publish have dreams that their work will become tremendously successful and they’ll be the next J.K. Rowling, rolling around in money while sending out hilarious tweets. But not me, I just want to be an author. I just want to earn enough to live on. That’s not much money because I’m a simple soul. And that’s the problem. This is the career I want, for a lot of people they want the money. This is my dream job and the fear of being rejected is very real for me.

So this little button on Amazon KDP represents a lot for me. If I press it I’ll officially be asking the world if I can have this job. Being interviewed by billions of people at once is terrifying. If I press it, it won’t be a nice idea and dream anymore. I’ll be doing everything I can to make it happen. And nobody wants to think their dreams are about to coming crashing down, do they?

But I have been very brave lately, and I’m going to do it.

I’m going to press that damned button!

*hovers finger nervously over the button*

This is tense. Has anybody playedΒ Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes? It’s like that, but worse because these are my hopes and dreams, not an imaginary life…

I pressed it…

I’m going to hide away now.



20 thoughts on “The Big Red Button Is Actually Yellow

  1. Joonas Kopponen

    I really hope enough people will buy your book so you can live doing what you like to do! πŸ™‚ I will check out if I have enough money for it now or later. πŸ˜€ Brave of you to do this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awe thanks πŸ™‚
      But only buy it if you want the book, I don’t want to be that person that forces all their friends to buy their book.
      I don’t if that is a particular person, but it’s not something I want to be known for :p

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Joonas Kopponen

        I want to buy the book. πŸ™‚ The idea seem interesting and good, I also usually like sci-fi stuff. Yeah I wouldn’t want to be known for that either. πŸ˜€ I am not buying it just out of friendship, pity or anything like that. I find it genuinely interesting.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Really hope you get everything you want out of the book launch (and it is a launch). You should pop a link somewhere in your blog. I don’t have a kindle – but can I buy it anywhere else? or? Send me details.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Gonna do a quick post on it a bit later today. As Amazon has informed me that they are extremely efficient and have published both the digital version and the paperback version already.
      I’ll do a bit of research into how non Kindle users can read the digital version too πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

    1. πŸ˜€
      Thanks. Yeah sadly I have no control over delivery pricing :/
      Thinking I’m going to have to get some copies printed up anyway though. For one I want to see it :p
      And secondly I want to sign a one for mum and one for the person it’s dedicated too. Seems like the normal thing to do, not sure about that though.
      Going to look into making it an audio book too (some people prefer to listen than read so it makes sense) but will depend how much it costs to get it done right.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yeah definitely, get yourself a few copies. When I come into a bit of money I’ll get myself a paper back. Would also like a signed one – so I can sell it when you’ve made the big time. Audiobook would be cool as well! Very nice developments, happy for you.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Joonas Kopponen

        I would at some point really love one with autograph too if possible, just need more money too first! πŸ™‚ I decided I’ll first go with the digital copy too because of the delivery price, will be exciting to read it. πŸ™‚ I am kinda a slow reader with books but I will let you know how I liked it and which parts most when I am done or even during it! πŸ™‚ I am feeling much muxh better now by the way, had 3 hours massage and then did stretching and meditation.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’m going to need to work out a way of selling signed copies too at this rate πŸ˜›
        Not everyone is a speed reader and I know that so don’t worry about your reading speed.
        Would love to hear how you’re getting on with it when you can get to read it. I’ll still be posting chapters online, so you don’t have to wait around to pay for it πŸ™‚
        Glad you’re felling better. where does one get a three hour massage?!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Joonas Kopponen

        Maybe you should. =P I often just forget I have a book in progress, get distracted doing other things. πŸ˜€ I will let you know! πŸ™‚ Will probably stick for now with online chapters and buy when I run out of them here, awesome you are posting some here. πŸ™‚ From private massage therapist only basically.

        Liked by 1 person

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